Hey you!

Lately I've been facing some pretty major writers block. I was telling a friend just the other day about how I have all these ideas circling in my head, but none of them seem to be progressing past being an idea. SO FRUSTRATING.

That being said - shoutout to the lady at work that set this idea on fire.

Being single is a topic of which has been on my heart for quite some time now, but its a hard topic to tackle without seemingly asking for pity. That is NOT the purpose of this post, quite the opposite actually. I want to speak life into the topic, I want to speak life into those who are single, and I want to speak life into those who will be single in the future. So grab a bevy of choice, get cozy and lets dive into this together.

If I'm being honest, over the last few months, I have found myself completely distraught over the fact that I've been single for quite some time now. I hated talking about being single. I forced myself to pretend I was happy being single. I got to the point where I had completely lost hope in ever finding a future spouse. I found myself thinking horrible things about myself - questioning what it might be that has kept me from finding a man, questioning what I needed to change about myself. I put so much focus on how B A D it is that I'm single. There were even times I felt pressure to hate my singleness, in the moments where I considered being single to be a good thing, I felt guilty. What the heck is up with that?! How messed up is our society that we pressure others to hate their own singleness.

When did being single become a curse? When did being single become something that people hated? When did being single become one of the least desirable stages of life in our culture? I want to go back in time and meet the person that started this trend and give them a stern talking to (maybe punch them in face as well tbh).

For as long as I can remember, being single has had a negative connotation on it. There is pressure coming at us from all angles to find someone to spend our lives with. There is pressure from the media, parents, friends, and sometimes even from random strangers. We do anything to be noticed by someone we are interested in. A lot of us settle for far less than we deserve, we let people use and abuse us - simply so that we aren't alone, simply so that we aren't single. We pity ourselves for being single and we pity others for being single. We question what it is in ourselves and others that cause this singleness. We treat singleness as though it is a disease or a curse.

The idea of being alone terrifies us.

Today at work, a customer asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told her I didn't, she actually took pity on me. Something in that moment clicked for me. I was furious that this lady actually felt badly for me that I wasn't in a relationship. In that moment, my months of pitying myself for being single became so silly to me. It finally clicked in my head that being single is far from being a bad thing. It is not a curse.

Being single is great! Just like every other stage is great. I don't want people to feel sorry for me, frankly, I don't really want them to feel anything other that proud of where I am at. The idea of not being with someone shouldn't scare us. Being single can be a great opportunity to explore what makes you, YOU. Do things such as travel, or get an education. Really, its a time to do whatever the heck you want.

The fact that you don't have a partner, spouse, fiancé, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend does not diminish your worth whatsoever. There is a purpose in every season of our lives. Embrace what ever season you are in and love it for all its worth. Don't waste your singleness - do things that set your soul on fire, figure out the depths of who you are. Figure out what you want in life and chase it until it's yours.

And please, I'm begging you, never settle for less than you deserve. You are so precious and you deserve to be treated as such.

I hope that this spoke to you in the ways it has spoken to me. Today has been such a liberating day for me and I hope that it can be for you as well. I love each and every one of you reading this. You are all beautiful and worthy of being loved. To those of you who are reading this and have already found the loves of your lives - I am SO excited for you, the love I see you all displaying gets me so excited for my future.

- Melissa