HELLO FRIENDS, I am so sorry I have been MIA, I was really sick, then life got really busy with Easter and life. I am really excited to share with you today about something thats been really on my heart lately. Let me know what you think <3

Am I called? This is a question I have tossed around for years. A question that has encouraged me and has also really burdened me. A question of confusion and has left me feel lost. A question that I thought I knew the answer to, but in turn, ended up feeling even more lost and confused. Recently I re-approached the question as I had been really struggling with it again and some of the people in my life were also struggling with. This time I wasn’t going to settle for just any answer, I wanted THE answer. So this week I spent a lot of time in prayer - Lord, am I called?

This idea of being “called” wasn't really introduced me until my years in bible college. There I have been surrounded by so many incredible people. People that are so obviously captivated by the Lord and following where He leads them. Generally speaking that was some form of pastoral ministry. The word “called” was tossed around so often, everyone seemed to have an idea about what that meant. In conversation people would talk about people being called or what they felt they were being called to. It seemed like everyone I came into contact with was so sure of their “calling.” I felt like everything was being fast forwarded around me, and I was stuck on pause. Why didn’t I have this feeling? Why didn’t I feel called? What was Jesus calling me to? If I didn't feel like I had a calling, was I called? My heart was screaming out to the Lord, what about me God? Am I not called? It got to the point where I let other people around me tell me what my calling was. I was so desperate for this calling that I looked for it in the affirmation of others. I was a bible college student, with a lot of great interpersonal skills, and a lot of people telling me I would make a great pastor, so I ran with that. The affirmation of my peers and what they thought I should do with my life was more important than the plan Jesus had for me.

Now, bare with me, I'm going to fast forward a bit, I realized that maybe I wasn’t called to pastoral ministry and that Jesus had another plan for my life. This really turned my world upside down even more. If Jesus didn’t want me to be in formal pastoral ministry, surely I am not called. Aren’t callings only ministry based? If I'm not going to pastor, my life surely is meaningless. Nothing I could ever do would ever be as important or worthy as a pastor. These were questions and thoughts that haunted me for a very long time. I still wasn’t sure if I was called or what that looked like for me. My life was still a whirlwind of confusion about what it even meant to be called. I wanted so badly to follow Jesus and the plan He had for me. I wanted to and still do want to serve Him with everything I am and everything I have.

I was so focused on the idea of wanting to be “called” that I completely missed the fact that I was already called.

In the Old Testament, the word call in Hebrew has a very similar meaning to the word call in english today. It simply meant to call. Just like we call a friend, or call to God, or call animals. In the Old Testament call also meant to name. To name was to be called and to be called was to be named. Just liked God named Israel, He also names us as His own. Later on in the New Testament the word called was synonymous with salvation. Calling was so obviously and overwhelmingly God calling people to Himself. When the Lord calls people to Himself it is no casual encounter. He is so captivating that the only response we can have is to acknowledge that he is the universal Caller. When we become Christian, we become called. In the New Testament, Jesus calls people to follow him. When He does this, it is also an invitation to other things and tasks: to peace, to fellowship, to eternal life, to suffering, to service and debatably most importantly - discipleship. We, as believers, are called to disciple everyone, everywhere and everything.

It is so clear to me, that in the bible, a calling is such a crucial, central and complex theme. It would be so easy to consider it a metaphor for the journey of faith in life. When we limit the word to bible college kids, pastoral ministry, so even particular texts or stages of life, I really think we miss the big picture that God has for us. Similarly when we put so much focus on the calling and not the Caller. It would be like walking through a forest and missing it cause you were so focused on one single tree. We are disciples of Jesus and we are CALLED.

As Christians, there are two obvious callings, one primary and one secondary. Our primary calling is to Christ and Christ alone. We are called by Him, to Him and for Him. Secondarily we are called to to think, speak, live and act for Him. This is where vocational callings come in. We are all so uniquely equipped with various gifts, talents, personality, passions, dreams. These are the heart beat behind what a “calling” could be. Some are called to pastoral ministry, some are called to homemaking and motherhood. Others are called to be teachers, florist, lawyers, dancers. actors, baristas. The list could go on forever. When we are so intimately in tune with the Lord and do our very best to follow the path He has laid for us, and seek Him above all else. Our “callings” happen so natural. When we seek to glorify Him in all we do, and use the skill sets HE has equipped us with, He will do the rest of the handy work. He will mold your heart and give you the strength you need. HE will give you dreams so big you can hardly believe them. HE will lead you down a path towards the life He wants for you. I am so thankful that I serve a God that has CALLED me, and EQUIPPED me for the plans He has for me.

YOU are CALLED, and you are WORTHY of that call. So start living a life that reflects that. Start walking in the truth that YOU.ARE.CALLED, no matter what you think, He has a plan for your life, and I can guarantee that it is beyond anything you could ever imagine.

I love you all dearly, I want to know your thoughts and what you feel called too <3