The Moment

How is it already 2016!? What the actual heck..

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and had fun ringing in the new year! I know I sure had a good Christmas season. Its crazy how fast time flies! It feels like I just graduated yesterday, I can't believe that was almost 5 years ago now. 

Time is a funny thing, it seems like humans are the only things controlled by time. Our every move is dictated by time. Time in its literal sense being the time on a clock, or time of day, or time of year, season, week. Time comes in so many different forms. We let time either make or break our lives. 

As a culture we are so consumed by wanting to fast forward time, rewind time, pause time. We always want to be somewhere else, be someone else. We hardly ever put our phones down and because we live in a social media driven world, we are constantly comparing our lives to others. We want to rush everything one minute and the next we want to slow everything down. We are completely consumed by time. 

My current season of life is a testament to that. I think I am experiencing the slowest, most boring season of my life. I feel like all I do is sleep and work. I have no boyfriend, Im not in school currently, I don't have a clear idea of whats to come in the next few months or years, a lot of my friendships are in a transition phase. I kind of feel like I'm not really living. To make it "worse" I see everyone around me experiencing the life I so desperately want. I see my friends falling in love, getting married, graduating university, starting killer jobs, getting really cool ministry opportunities and opportunities in life. I so badly want this season to end. I feel like some how I've failed. My focus has been on desiring whats ahead of me in an unhealthy way, I just want this season to end, so the next can start.

I have failed to see the work the Lord is doing in my life. I have failed to see the purpose in this season. I have failed to see the growth that comes from difficult seasons. I have failed to live in the present. 

It's so easy to get caught up in our plans and ideals of how and what life should look like that we forget that we serve a God that isn't restricted by time. Time doesn't rule Him, it only rules us. I think that the enemy uses that to his advantage too. When we focus on wanting the slow or rush time, we neglect to focus on the present. We wish we could go back in time to change things or hurry time because the present isn't good enough. We think we know whats best. 

Think about how much richer our lives would be if captured moments in our hearts and held on to them, but didn't allow them to dictate our lives. Or if we stopped wanting to rush time and just enjoyed each minute of each day to its fullest. I think our souls and our hearts are yearning for us to just slow down, take each day as it comes. I wonder if the stress and anxiety in our lives would calm if we started to focus on the present and being content with where we are, who we are and who we are with. 

One of my best friends has the verse Ecclesiastes 3:4 tattooed on her arm, "A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance". Earlier on in Ecclesiastes 3 it talks about how there is a purpose in every season and a time for everything. Jesus doesn't forget about the desires of our hearts. He knows all of our hopes and dreams. When we trust Him with those, and allow Him to grow and develop them, it can be so rewarding. When we let go of our expectations of life, He takes over and trust me, He will blow your mind with what He has prepared for you. 

I think that we do ourselves and the Lord a great injustice when we grow complacent with our lives. When we start having thoughts of wanting to fast forward, rewind, or wanting to be somewhere else or be someone else. I think its similar to spitting on Him, saying what He's given us isn't enough. 

Embrace every season, embrace every moment. 

Now, I don't mean that we shouldn't be excited about our futures, or reflective of the past. I mean that we shouldn't let them control us, we should L I V E in the present. There is a time and place for dreaming for our futures, its good to plan ahead. Its also so good to reflect on the past and learn from it. It just breaks my heart to see SO many of us living in the future or past. 

I want to strive to live a life where I embrace every season. I want to allow Jesus to use my crappy, slow, boring seasons as an opportunity for growth and preparation for what is to come. I want the good seasons to be so full of joy that everyone around me is impacted by what they see in my life. I want to impact people to live their lives to the fullest and embrace every season. I hope my life can be a testament to that - embracing life, living it to it's fullest while building the Kingdom. 

I love you all + I'm believing in big things for 2016

xoxo

- melissa

I Am Blameless Before Him

Hello friends! I am really excited about what I have to share today, so excited that moments ago I was texting a dear friend about how excited I am to write this. I think it's something that everyone can relate to - boys and girls. It's something that has been weighing so heavy on my heart for a few weeks now. I hope that it speaks to you the way it did to me, I hope that the Lord starts to transform your heart as you read this. I think theres a lot of power in what I'm about to explore. So lets jump right into it!

Shame is one of the biggest killers in our world. Shame destroys people, it destroys dreams, it destroys lives, it destroys families. It kills our confidence, it kills our relationships with people and it kills our relationship with Jesus. Shame is a killer. We let our mistakes ruin our lives. We also have a tendency to label others by the mistakes they've made, we won't let them forget about the bad things they've done, the mistakes they've made. We hold their mistakes over their head like a rain cloud. No wonder shame runs so rapid in our culture today. How are we ever supposed to let go of our mistakes, to learn and move past them if we can't forgive ourselves, if we can't let others around us rid themselves of the shame.

I think the greatest travesty is that we have convinced ourselves that our shame removes us from the love of the Father. 

I am no stranger to these thoughts and feelings. Its something that has plagued my life and the lives of so many people around me. A few weeks ago, I was at a youth staff retreat and we took some time to meditate and respond to Colossians 1:15-23 and there is a part that says, "...He has now reconciled in His body of flesh by His death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before Him." This is where this idea sparked. These words hit me like a wall. It was during conversation at that retreat in that moment when it all started to make sense to me.

It's one of the hardest concepts to accept - that He loves us despite our mistakes. In fact, He died, so that He could be in relationship with us even though we are riddled with sin. He died so that he could bridge the gap between a sinful people and His love. He died for us - how stupid is it that we don't get that. He died so He could be in relationship with us, so that He would rid us of our sin. 

We are blameless before Him

There are multiple verses in the New and the Old Testament that talk about us being blameless before the Lord and there can be different interpretations of the word blameless, but I really believe that the Lord sees us as blameless before Him in the simplest form. He saved us from our own sin, He doesn't want us to be paralyzed by shame and guilt. He wants us to learn from our mistakes. He wants to help us avoid those mistakes, but He also knows how imperfect we are. He goes before us, He knows our every move, our every mistake before it even happens and He's already forgiven us for them before we even make them. There is nothing that can separate us from the love the Father has for us.

 Its time we stop shaming ourselves.

Its time that we stop shaming our friends, family and even strangers. 

Its time that we begin to release ourselves from existing shame, and allow the Father to heal our hearts. 

I wonder what our lives, churches and communities would look like if we all really embraced what Jesus did for us on the cross. I wonder how it would effect our relationships with others and most importantly our relationship with Christ. If we really grasped what grace and mercy looks like. I think our churches would be healthier. I think our lives would be richer, I think that we would see a growth in churches and in Christians around the world. Im not saying that we can just abuse grace and that we shouldn't feel some sort of frustration or sadness when we sin. Sin is wrong and there needs to be some sort of negativity attached to it. What I'm saying is that we shouldn't dwell on it, we shouldn't let our sin ruin our lives. There comes a point in which we need to move past it, to heal. We do ourselves and the Father a great injustice when we don't allow grace and mercy to flow in our lives. When we allow shame, sin, mistakes to control our lives and we don't accept the grace the Father has for us, we literally spitting on the foot of the cross, in a sense we are saying what Jesus did for us on that day wasn't good enough. 

I don't know about you, but I want to live a life worthy of what He did for me. I want to be released of shame. I want to live a joyful life, a life that is full of His grace so that others can see how flawed I am, but how He makes me whole again. That because of Him and His grace and mercy, I am blameless. 

I love each and everyone of you, and I am praying that you can forgive yourselves, and that you can really embrace grace of the Father. That you know you are blameless before Him.

you should also listen to this song, I think its an accurate representation of this topic 

- Melissa

#HerStory - Holly

Hi friends!

     When I first started dreaming up My Beloved, one of the things I really wanted to incorporate was the opportunity to have other girls share their experiences and their relationship with the Lord. Testimonies and experiences can be overwhelmingly impacting - We can't deny someone of their story. This is where the series #HerStory came from! 

Today we are lucky enough to have one of my favourite people in the world share on identity and what that has looked like in her life.

Everybody meet Holly

I met Holly at the beginning of my freshman year at Summit Pacific Bible College. We were both freshmen and were both in the same program called Omega - a one year discipleship program focused on serving in the local church and missions. Anyways through a series of events we ended up becoming roomies!

Let me tell you, Holly is by a landslide, one of the coolest girls I have ever met. 

Holly has been one of the most constant people in my life. She is always challenging those around her and is always calling out the good that she sees in those around her. She lives her life fearlessly and is always taking on new opportunities and challenges. She is one of the funniest people I know and I can't go a couple hours without laughing my butt off when I'm around her. Holly has a beautiful, flourishing relationship with Jesus and it is very evident in how she lives her life. Im telling ya, this girl is completely captivated by Him and is figuring out daily, ways to live out His love.  Holly is unique and she really embraces that part of her! She's not afraid to stand out in a crowd and challenge social norms. Holly loves metal music and has the best style! I love that she doesn't chose to wear what everyone else is wearing or whats trendy, but instead she wears what she loves! As cliche as it is, she's one of the most beautiful girls - inside and out (she's also single, if any boys are reading this). I am so thankful that she's apart of my life, let alone one of my best friends. I wouldn't trade her for anything and I'm so excited you guys get to hear from her today!

“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect”

YO. My name is Holly, and I’m PUMPED to chat with you. One of my favorite activities ever is hanging out with my friends while coffee is present. Which it is for me at the moment, so if it is not for you, go grab some coffee, then come back.

So, something that I’ve always struggled with is knowing exactly who I am. I went through all the stages you could imagine. I went through my ‘scene’ years in middle school and a bit of high school where I hid myself in dark clothes and watching titanic every night. I had a few years in high school where I tried to act more girly than I actually am.  When I got into the older grades of high school, a lot about my life started becoming hard and fast. Things got really difficult when I was around 15 and then I became even more confused as to who I was. 

When I entered into college I got wrapped up in the lie that my confidence came from whether or not a boy was interested in me. This took me a long time to get over, and if I’m being real, I did not get over this idea until recently. There are plenty of reasons I could potentially peg to be the root of this problem, however I believe the reason for the problem is not as important as how I overcame it.

Something that is a reality in my life at the moment is that everyone around me is either dating, getting engaged, getting married, or even having babies. Therefore, I began to think that because I was lacking in all of those departments, what did I have going for me if nobody was showing interest in me? This was such an unhealthy outlook on life, and not fun at all! I went through a couple of bad relationships over the past few years; situations that were just not healthy and were not centered on Christ.

At the end of a hard semester this past spring, I decided that I was going to hang back on the whole dating thing. I can honestly say that since then, I have genuinely never been happier, as I simply haven’t been living to please anyone other than my homie Jesus Christ. This summer and these past few months have been a time where I focused completely on myself and have been learning what it means to be confident on my own, and I quickly learned that there was no such thing as being confident on my own, but only confident in knowing I am God’s creation. 

1 Corinthians 15:10 says “But by the grace of God, I am what I am”. This brought me to the reality that the only thing I need to feel confident in myself is the assurance of grace, in which I am living proof that this has already been given to me. 

I have made many mistakes in my life, which my friends and family could attest to, however I know that by the grace and love of God alone, I can be confident in every part of who I am. The fact that I am loved with a relentless love from the Creator of the universe is more than enough reason for me to wake up everyday and feel stoked about the adventures in the life that God gave me! 

This summer I learned to love myself in the least annoying way possible, I promise.  I found so much enjoyment in uncovering more layers to the spiritual gifts I feel God has blessed me with, trying to better my musical abilities, and just trying to be a better person all together. What this does not look like is trying to be the best version of myself, rather trying with every fiber of my being to look like Jesus Christ. 

I have found so much enjoyment in simply being who I am, strengthening my relationships with friends, deepening my relationship with God, and then getting to pour that out onto my youth students, family, and my friends. 

I am definitely not and never will be perfect. Some days I don’t really understand myself. For example, one night I will be crying in front of my TV watching the bachelorette, and another night I will be falling asleep peacefully while listening to heavy metal. I don’t really understand exactly what label I would have, and I have learned that that is okay. Who keeps the labels on things anyways? Aren’t we supposed to throw those things away when we purchase something? God made so many layers to all of His children, and what a privilege it is that we can uncover more about ourselves as we grow up!  

So my advice to you is to fall in love with your life, stay real, and keep God at the center of your life. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed!

If anything I said today resinated with you and you want to chat about it you can find me on Instagram or you can email me at holly@rossroadcc.ca

STAY RAD!

Holly

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Am I Called?

HELLO FRIENDS, I am so sorry I have been MIA, I was really sick, then life got really busy with Easter and life. I am really excited to share with you today about something thats been really on my heart lately. Let me know what you think <3

Am I called? This is a question I have tossed around for years. A question that has encouraged me and has also really burdened me. A question of confusion and has left me feel lost. A question that I thought I knew the answer to, but in turn, ended up feeling even more lost and confused. Recently I re-approached the question as I had been really struggling with it again and some of the people in my life were also struggling with. This time I wasn’t going to settle for just any answer, I wanted THE answer. So this week I spent a lot of time in prayer - Lord, am I called? 

This idea of being “called” wasn't really introduced me until my years in bible college. There I have been surrounded by so many incredible people. People that are so obviously captivated by the Lord and following where He leads them. Generally speaking that was some form of pastoral ministry. The word “called” was tossed around so often, everyone seemed to have an idea about what that meant. In conversation people would talk about people being called or what they felt they were being called to. It seemed like everyone I came into contact with was so sure of their “calling.” I felt like everything was being fast forwarded around me, and I was stuck on pause. Why didn’t I have this feeling? Why didn’t I feel called? What was Jesus calling me to? If I didn't feel like I had a calling, was I called? My heart was screaming out to the Lord, what about me God? Am I not called? It got to the point where I let other people around me tell me what my calling was. I was so desperate for this calling that I looked for it in the affirmation of others. I was a bible college student, with a lot of great interpersonal skills, and a lot of people telling me I would make a great pastor, so I ran with that. The affirmation of my peers and what they thought I should do with my life was more important than the plan Jesus had for me. 

Now, bare with me, I'm going to fast forward a bit, I realized that maybe I wasn’t called to pastoral ministry and that Jesus had another plan for my life. This really turned my world upside down even more. If Jesus didn’t want me to be in formal pastoral ministry, surely I am not called. Aren’t callings only ministry based? If I'm not going to pastor, my life surely is meaningless. Nothing I could ever do would ever be as important or worthy as a pastor. These were questions and thoughts that haunted me for a very long time. I still wasn’t sure if I was called or what that looked like for me. My life was still a whirlwind of confusion about what it even meant to be called. I wanted so badly to follow Jesus and the plan He had for me. I wanted to and still do want to serve Him with everything I am and everything I have. 

I was so focused on the idea of wanting to be “called” that I completely missed the fact that I was already called. 

In the Old Testament, the word call in Hebrew has a very similar meaning to the word call in english today. It simply meant to call. Just like we call a friend, or call to God, or call animals. In the Old Testament call also meant to name. To name was to be called and to be called was to be named. Just liked God named Israel, He also names us as His own. Later on in the New Testament the word called was synonymous with salvation. Calling was so obviously and overwhelmingly God calling people to Himself. When the Lord calls people to Himself it is no casual encounter. He is so captivating that the only response we can have is to acknowledge that he is the universal Caller. When we become Christian, we become called. In the New Testament, Jesus calls people to follow him. When He does this, it is also an invitation to other things and tasks: to peace, to fellowship, to eternal life, to suffering, to service and debatably most importantly - discipleship. We, as believers, are called to disciple everyone, everywhere and everything. 

It is so clear to me, that in the bible, a calling is such a crucial, central and complex theme. It would be so easy to consider it a metaphor for the journey of faith in life. When we limit the word to bible college kids, pastoral ministry, so even particular texts or stages of life, I really think we miss the big picture that God has for us. Similarly when we put so much focus on the calling and not the Caller. It would be like walking through a forest and missing it cause you were so focused on one single tree. We are disciples of Jesus and we are CALLED. 

As Christians, there are two obvious callings, one primary and one secondary. Our primary calling is to Christ and Christ alone. We are called by Him, to Him and for Him. Secondarily we are called to to think, speak, live and act for Him. This is where vocational callings come in. We are all so uniquely equipped with various gifts, talents, personality, passions, dreams. These are the heart beat behind what a “calling” could be. Some are called to pastoral ministry, some are called to homemaking and motherhood. Others are called to be teachers, florist, lawyers, dancers. actors, baristas. The list could go on forever. When we are so intimately in tune with the Lord and do our very best to follow the path He has laid for us, and seek Him above all else. Our “callings” happen so natural. When we seek to glorify Him in all we do, and use the skill sets HE has equipped us with, He will do the rest of the handy work. He will mold your heart and give you the strength you need. HE will give you dreams so big you can hardly believe them. HE will lead you down a path towards the life He wants for you. I am so thankful that I serve a God that has CALLED me, and EQUIPPED me for the plans He has for me. 

YOU are CALLED, and you are WORTHY of that call. So start living a life that reflects that. Start walking in the truth that YOU.ARE.CALLED, no matter what you think, He has a plan for your life, and I can guarantee that it is beyond anything you could ever imagine.

I love you all dearly, I want to know your thoughts and what you feel called too <3

I am who HE says I am

Hello friends! 

     I have been so overwhelmed by the love and support My Beloved has been getting! I am so grateful for everyone that shared posts and for those that sent me the most encouraging notes, messages and texts! I cannot express how excited I am for this journey and how excited I am to see where the Lord takes My Beloved. I am SO thankful for YOU. 

I will be the first to tell you I have horrible self esteem, and at times it is really really hard for me to see myself in a positive uplifting light. I always see and pay attention to the negative things, the things I see and the things that have been pointed out in my by others. It has been and continues to be my greatest struggle in life and I know that it holds me back from a lot of things in a lot of ways. Because of this, I have always been very influenced by what people say about me. I have continuously let people define me and always in a negative lights. I have always let the bad outweigh the good. 

You’re fat, you're ugly, you're stuck up, you're a goody two-shoes, you're a religious snob, you look like a pregnant horse, you're not good enough, you're not pretty enough, you’re annoying,  you're not popular enough, are you sure you want that candy bar, you've worn that plaid a lot lately maybe you should stop, you need to care more about how you dress, dress more like a girl, the girls here don't like you, people are threatened by you, you're not talented enough - I could go on with the things that people have said to me. 

They stick in my mind like glue. On repeat in mind, never letting me forget. No matter how much positive encouragement I get from the people I love and that love me. 

Recently I was asked to describe myself in 3 words, 3 simple words. Seems pretty simple eh? It was so painful for me. I came up with one word, ONE, and it wasn’t a well received by those listening. My word to describe me - boring. 

That word slapped me in the face. BORING?! The only place this word comes from is the years of being beat down by those around me. Never allowing myself to flourish in self confidence, and really love the woman the Lord has created me to be. Boring. A word that completely neglects to see the vibrancy that I carry. A word that disqualifies me from seeing myself as a unique and beautiful individual. A word that I need to rid my vocabulary of permanently because frankly I am anything but boring. 

 I started to pray from that day forward that the Lord would reveal to me how HE sees. I asked Him to show me how He would describe me. Who is Melissa to Him? I have been completely floored and humbled by His response. I am who HE says I am. 

I am beautiful, I am loved, I am kind, I am compassionate, I am joyful, I am always laughing, I am funny, I have the biggest heart, I have a voice, I put others first, I am thoughtful, I am intelligent, I am crafty, I am talented, I am passionate, I am so full of life, I make people laugh, I always look for the best in others, I have influence, I am going places, I love well, I am sassy, I am adventurous, I uplift, I speak life, I am in love with the Lord and I know that I am His Beloved. 

That is all that matters. No other labels, no other words, His and His alone. They define me, He defines me. 

I am who HE says I am.

Low self esteem and a lack of confidence is something that is SO prevalent in women today. There are very few girls I know that have not struggled with their own self esteem. My hope is that this will help encourage those of you that might struggle with the same thing! The Lord’s heart completely breaks when we see ourselves differently than the way HE see’s us. After all we are created in HIS image, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” Genesis 1:27. He loves each of us so dearly and He desires us to be confident in the women He created us to be. Not the women we have allowed ourselves to believe that we are based off our own thoughts of the things that people have labelled us as. We need to be confident in who He has created us to be. Never becoming prideful of it, but recognizing the words that He is speaking over us, speaking over you. Sometimes we have to press pause on life and take time to listen to His still small voice speaking life over us. Grasping each word He speaks and holding on to it. You are BEAUTIFUL, you are VIBRANT, you are LOVED, you are UNIQUE and you are His BELOVED. 

Praying for all of you this week + I really hope this resinates with you the way it has with me.

- Melissa xox