#HerStory - Ariana
Hey strangers!
I’m sorry I've been so M.I.A lately. I have been lacking inspiration and I promised myself I would never write a post out of an obligation to blog. I want what I post to be genuine and inspired.
I care about you all, and I don’t ever want to be fake with you.
Today, I’ve got a real treat for you. My sweet girl Ariana is sharing a little piece of her B I G heart with us!
I’m not exactly sure how she found me on instagram, but she had been following me for a while and was such a loyal follower. She would always like my photos and comment on them. I remember so vividly the moment when I realized who she was. I was hanging out in the bookstore of the school I was going to and a friend of mine was talking to me about this girl that she knew. She told me about her friend, Ariana, from back home that would talk to her about how cool she thought I was and how much she wanted to be my friend. I was so taken back, it was the first time I had a “fan.” Following that conversation, my heart was flooded with love for this girl that I didn’t know. I immediately followed her back and sent her a message. From that day forward she has been such a joy in my life.
My words will neverdo justice to how incredible Ariana is. She is the biggest cheerleader to the people in her life. No matter what kind of crap she is going through in her personal life, she will always be there for her friends. She literally radiates joy, you cannot look at her and not smile. She is incredibly strong and she perseveres trials like a total boss lady! She's always willing to be vulnerable and share her heart. She is always looking for new ways that she can pursue the King, and she strives to live a life that glorifies Him in all ways. She is the kind of girl you immediately fall in love with. She captured my heart in such a unique way. I never thought that it would be possible to care SO deeply for someone I've never met before. When she hurts, I hurt and when she's happy, I'm happy. She is SO precious. This cutie is living in Ontario, working her magic and kicking butt at a local hair salon. Next year, Ariana is headed to BC (YAY!) where she's going to be taking the OMEGA program at Summit Pacific college (If you've never heard of the OMEGA program, you need to! Its life changing. Check it out!)
Ariana, you are a superstar!
I was SO happy when she agreed to write a piece for you all. It was really encouraging for me and I hope it will do the same for you.
Take it away girl!
Hey Guys! My name is Ariana!
One of my favourite things to do is adventure, find new things in this world and in people & to share stories of what we've seen, loved and lost.
When Mel asked me to write something for My Beloved I was filled with excitement and also incredibly overwhelmed. I'd never actually written my story without being hidden in metaphors and illustrations. So I hope, that in reading this, it would inspire you to share your story; it matters.
Your past does not define you. This world does not define you. No human can define you. These are the hardest lessons I have had to learn. There is nothing that can depict who you are. Who you are going to be. Your past is filled with moments and memories, feelings and experiences that you were meant to live. To remember. To love and learn from.
I know how hard and ugly that is to swallow at times. It is no ones wish to have heartache. My life has had its trials. To some they may seem small but these are the biggest thing I have had to overcome, and if I'm being totally honest I haven't entirely conquered them yet. But these are my experiences and they have brought me to the person I am now.
When I was about six years old my parents split up. At that age I didn't fully understand what that meant, and as I grew older I don't think I fully grasped how much that affected me. No, my father was not completely cut out of my life, but not having him in the home, not having the love of a father was something I lost. Because of this I tired to grasp at anything to fill the void in my life. I looked at men to tell me I was beautiful.
When I was in high school I gave myself to a boy I thought wanted all of me. I was wrong. He stole a part of me and when he wasn't satisfied he left me shattered and I realized that is simply all he wanted; to use me. I lost sight of any purpose I thought I had, all of my passions and love for people. I thought that any compliment I received was merely a coo. I believed that I was nothing unless I was performing sexually. I started to think that that was my only purpose. That I was nothing more that a piece of meat. I hid myself from everyone. I became vulnerable, naive and captive to these lies. I became their puppet. Of course beauty and my body was all I had to offer, no one could ever love anything else. I was in this horrible mindset. Going through life thinking I had no value. Wondering if I would ever fill this huge hole in my heart.
I grew up in the lutheran church but in my fathers world it was only something done on Sunday mornings - It was an obligation not a choice. So when I attended a youth conference and learned that there is so much more of God beyond religion, that there is a relationship here filled with abundant love and care, I wept on my knees until the floor in front of me was soaked and I had no tears left to shed. I did not weep solely because of what I'd done, but because I had never felt so much love. My Father wrapped his arms around me and the chains of lies I'd been believing were broken. I finally heard of all the amazing things God had to say about me. He told me I was beautiful. He told me he loved me. He told me I didn't have to be anything other than who I was. He gave me the strength to say no. To this day I have to continue to run to Him. To let him consume me, because my fight against those lies has not fully ended. But I am loved! I have a purpose, my passions are valuable and I have the power to help others.
One of the most important things I have leaned in my life is to trust God, even when you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. To know that He is Hope. That he has a purpose for everything that you are going through. In the midst of it all you may not see any reasoning behind what's happening, but there is so much to learn. I would not be the woman I am without the trials I've faced. I would not be able to help other people in my situation. It was not without fight that I am here now, but my how much more beautiful the world is when God opens your eyes.
God has broken my heart in so many ways but I yearn for women to never have to experience this pain. For women to know their worth and that they are loved. Irregardless of what's missing in their lives or of what people have said to them. Nothing here, in this life, can define you. Your creator defines you. He made you. Wrapped in beauty and filled with love. The love He has for you isn't even comprehendible. And He wants you to share it with others. To empower each other and share your story. So that people know they are not alone, there is someone out there who has fought or is fighting the same battle. Equip each other. Because you are more than enough! Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's in ability to see your worth.
xoxo
- Ariana
See, I told you she was amazing! If what Ariana has shared with us hits home for you, don't be afraid to find her on Instagram and send her a message! I know she would be so excited to hear about how her story has helped you!
Stay tuned for the next post, I have something stirring in my heart that I cannot wait so share with you!
Love you all endlessly!
- Mel
